From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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