everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
