fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
