You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
