I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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