We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
