I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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