Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
