Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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