Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
