went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
