we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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