she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
