Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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