i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
