I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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