Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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