this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
