Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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