No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
