she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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