I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
