TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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