I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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