we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
