No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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