Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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