I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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