She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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