i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
