Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
