this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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