That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
