all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
