this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This is the high leading the old right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
