Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
