Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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