Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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