Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
