woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize