so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize