i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My ass is underappreciated
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
