Whod you bang
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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