I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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