Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize