They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
