I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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