I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize