Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
