i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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