When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
