I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
