Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
