my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
