WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
