it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
