her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize